Diary of a PR Amateur

I Hate Delays

August 2, 2010
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I’m a little embarrassed to let you know, because I really built it up and I’m sure you have all been checking this blog on a daily basis, but the big announcement – on which my raise and promotion were riding – has been postponed indefinitely.

Apparently, (my company) has not exactly done what is necessary to make this particular customer feel loved. You know, sometimes I think that I’m the only person in this company who knows how to do his job.

I wonder how (my company) would do if we sent out a satisfaction survey to our customers.

In any case, we are officially delayed, which means I have to figure out a different way to prove that I am promote-able.

I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, and I think it all starts with taking some of the pressure off my boss. Of course, this will involve having to work a little harder than usual, but I think it’s worth the short-term effort for the sake of the long-term.

By the way, it has come to my attention that there is a Facebook Fan Page devoted to me, which is not entirely surprising, given the quality of the information I generally provide here. You should check it out.


The Consummate PR Pro

April 27, 2010
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Now that the off-site scheduling is behind me – the CEO approved my revised version, of course – I can get back to doing what I like doing so much … PR.

We haven’t put out an announcement in some time, which is just fine with me, given the strategy I’ve developed. But our antsy CEO wants an announcement this week, so he’s – get this – asked a friend, Tim, if he’d like to come aboard as a part-time team member with the title of “Chief Corporate Development Officer.” Of course, his friend said yes, but that’s not surprising, given the friend’s uneven track record in the business world.

I imagine this friend is going to get a ton of stock options and a nice office as well.

And if you can sense that I’m a little cranky about it, you are correct. Wouldn’t you be? I can manage circles around this new guy, Tim, and I’m still here in my cube.

But, as you know, I am the consummate professional, and the media will never know that I think this announcement – and the hire behind it – is dumb and a waste of investor dollars. To the media, everything will be just dandy around here. In fact, here’s the headline (and subhead) I’ve cooked up:

(MY COMPANY) TAKES MAJOR STEP FORWARD WITH NEW CORPORATE DEVELOPMENT HIRE

Tim To Help (My Company) Expand In New Directions

That subhead, mind you, is a little private joke between us girls here. You see, by writing “Expand in New Directions,” it will sound like he’s changing the strategy of the company, and the board will be all over the CEO for that one. Ha! I simply can’t wait for this …
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A Strategy Must Be Honored … By Everyone

April 7, 2010
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Sometimes it can get frustrating to think so many steps ahead of everyone else. For example, they say that there are sometimes incredible athletes that are so far ahead of their teammates that they wind up looking not as good. They are thinking three steps ahead and their teammates are three steps behind, so they wind up losing the ball … or the puck … or even the frisbee.

That’s the position in which I find myself today, and quite often, frankly.

You see, our CEO came into my cube today and asked me why I’m not calling back reporters. Apparently, he said, they are now calling him hoping he will speak with them, since I won’t.

“Did you speak with them?!” I asked, panicking about my entire strategy being blown up.

“Of course, I did, Joe,” he said. “Why wouldn’t I? We haven’t been covered in a substantial way for months, and we just sent out four releases. They want to talk with us now! Gotta strike while the iron’s hot!”

I just shook my head.

“What?” he said.

I just kept shaking my head … and I kept shaking it until he walked out of my cube, muttering to himself that he’d have to speak with my supervisor about this.

I was feeling particularly bold, given that my strategy was making the media so hungry to speak with our company, so I gave him a piece of my mind:

“Listen, (CEO’s name), I don’t tell you how to do your job,” I said. “So please don’t tell me how to do mine. I know what I’m doing.”

“Joe,” he responded, “I’m not sure you do, and since I’m the CEO, I will tell you how to do your job if I don’t think you’re doing it well.”

You know, that’s the problem with this company. They don’t let me do my job. But the good news is that now that he’s stuck his nose in my business, I can point the finger at him if my strategy doesn’t work.


Of Blitzes and Misdirection Plays

March 23, 2010
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Well, we sent out a record four releases in less than a week. And I don’t want to pat myself on the back or anything, but the reactions from the media with whom I spoke yesterday were amazing. One example:

Joe: I sent you a release today about (product)

Reporter: Joe, you just called me an hour ago about a different release, and you called me last Friday about another one. And none of them are really that interesting. But yes, I did see the release about (product).

Joe: Great. As you can see, we are a company on the move. Lots going on here.

Reporter: I don’t understand you guys. You go like four months without announcing anything, and then three releases in four days. What’s your deal?

Joe: Just you wait. We’ve got another one going out at 5 p.m.!

Reporter: Uh-huh. Well, Joe, gotta go. Bye.

You see! It’s working! They all know who we are now! Our brand awareness has increased dramatically among the press this week and it’s all because of my strategy.

Now, my follow-up idea is to go another few months before sending out another announcement. It’ll be great. They’re going to wonder, “What happened to (my company)? They were making so much noise back in March.”

And then, just as they think we are out of the game again, I’m going to blitz them again in late June. It’ll be amazing.

I’ll tell you, at first I wasn’t so happy when my company decided not to hire a PR firm. But now, since I’ve gotten more involved … I love it.

By the way, you are welcome to try this strategy, too, and you don’t even have to give me credit.


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