Diary of a PR Amateur

Not So Fast

October 3, 2010
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Well, I wouldn’t have believed it unless I had heard it myself, but it turns out that my current company thinks I am worth something after all. My boss (the VP of Marketing) came into my cube late last week and delivered the good news:

“Joe, we are giving you that raise you were looking for, and I’m happy to let you know that we’re bumping you up 7%. That’s higher than the average increase of 3% that we usually give, so you should feel really good about yourself.”

“Um, (VP of Marketing), I appreciate the gesture, but I thought you knew that I was expecting something more significant,” I said.

“Well, Joe, as I said, 7% is nothing to sneeze at.”

“Listen, (VP of Marketing), you and I would prefer for me to be spending my time developing relationships with the key media and analysts who cover our industry, rather than discussing my salary, so just bump it up 10% and we’ll both get back to work.”

You see, I figured at this point that I had all the leverage, so I decided to be more demanding.

“Sorry, Joe. 7% is all we can do.”

“Well, I’ll have to think it over,” I responded.

“That’s fine, Joe,” he said. “And when you have made your decision, we have more news for you as well, provided your decision is to stay.”

Wow! Maybe they’ll be promoting me, too …


I Hate Delays

August 2, 2010
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I’m a little embarrassed to let you know, because I really built it up and I’m sure you have all been checking this blog on a daily basis, but the big announcement – on which my raise and promotion were riding – has been postponed indefinitely.

Apparently, (my company) has not exactly done what is necessary to make this particular customer feel loved. You know, sometimes I think that I’m the only person in this company who knows how to do his job.

I wonder how (my company) would do if we sent out a satisfaction survey to our customers.

In any case, we are officially delayed, which means I have to figure out a different way to prove that I am promote-able.

I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, and I think it all starts with taking some of the pressure off my boss. Of course, this will involve having to work a little harder than usual, but I think it’s worth the short-term effort for the sake of the long-term.

By the way, it has come to my attention that there is a Facebook Fan Page devoted to me, which is not entirely surprising, given the quality of the information I generally provide here. You should check it out.


The Big Day

July 29, 2010
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I couldn’t even sleep last night. I was too excited.

Well, here I am, at 7:30 in the morning, sitting in my office taking one last look at this gem of a press release that I plan to send out in about an hour and a half. If you don’t remember why I’m so excited, you have to read this.

Okay, now that you are up-to-speed, here’s the plan of action for today:

9:15 – Send out the release over PRNewswire, while also distributing it via Pitch Engine.

9:26 – Pay a visit to my boss to let him know that I changed the headline slightly to be more compelling to the media.

9:27 – Listen to him freak out on me about changing the headline. I plan to wait out his tirade and then explain calmly why I did what I did.

9:31 – Explain calmly to my boss why I did what I did. Specifically, I will outline to him that the attention we receive will far outweigh any backlash from the customer. I will also offer to him that I am willing to take the fall, rather than leaving the blame on his and our CEO’s shoulders.

9:36 – Accept the praise he will heap upon me once he realizes the brilliance of my idea.

My mom will be as proud as a mom whose son has joined the Navy.

9:37 – Request a raise and promotion.

9:40 – Return to my cube to call my mother and tell her I’ve been promoted.

As I said above, I’m quite excited. Wouldn’t you be?

If all goes as planned, I will post again after it happens and let you know how well I predicted the scenario.

Then, there certainly wouldn’t be anything wrong with sending me an email congratulating me on the achievement. I can be reached at pr.amateur@gmail.com.


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